Today's blog post isn't by me. It's by one of the most ethical (and beautiful) men I know: Larry Lee, the Executive Director of the New York Asian Women's Center. Larry is one of those amazing people who devotes their life to giving back to the community and making other people's lives better. On a daily basis, he deals with abuse of all kinds, yet he is always smiling and always ready with a cheerful word and a helping hand. He doesn't let it bring him down. When I first started out on my journey to make a film about elder abuse, Larry was the first person I went to for advice. NYAWC is one of only two centers for Asian women that provides resources for abused elders in the entire country. Larry shared with me a speech he wrote for a City Hall Father's Day Rally. He focused on why MEN should be fighting to end the abuse against women and, although it's not Father's Day, everything he said resonates and holds true today, too; it also parallels why all of us - however young we may be - also should be working to protect our elders. We are them. They are us. We are all human and we depend on each other for our support and our joy and our survival. So, in Larry's words:
The 6th Annual NYC Father’s Day Pledge to End Violence in our Homes, Schools and Communities
June 10, 2015 (delivered on)
My mother’s father was a mean man. I don’t know if he ever struck my grandmother but he was very emotionally abusive. He would take the family’s food money to gamble. He and my grandmother had 6 children. Their children adored her and hated him.
I didn’t know him well. I heard that in China as the son of a rich man He was carried everywhere. His feet never touched the ground. Then at 15 he came to New York City. Working as a laundryman his feet never left the ground. He hated the job and resented his position. At every dinner he drank an 8 ounce glass of whiskey.
He and my grandmother moved in with us when he was close to 60 years of age. Soon after my grandmother developed Alzheimer’s and it got progressively worse. She kept leaving on the gas burners unlit and would wander from the house.
Most amazingly my grandfather nursed and protected her. My uncles were shocked and thought it was poetic justice – the abuser who hated being subservient was the caretaker to his victim.
My grandfather’s life is full of irony. Our response to domestic violence is also ironic. Society treats women unequally. Salaries are lower; chances for advancement are fewer; and, educational opportunities are restricted. Yet, we are surprised that this inequality expresses itself in our homes and families. The public perpetuates a systemic power differential. But, we are shocked when a person with the societally endowed upper hand takes advantage of someone with less power. American society condones hundreds of millions of people having fewer chances than others. But, we are outraged when this lack of opportunity contributes toward violence.
If my grandfather can change, so can many others. But, it is difficult. The abuser feels justified while living in a sexist society that entitles male privilege over women’s well-being. To prevent and reduce domestic violence all people in our society must be treated equally. Bringing about this change is everyone’s responsibility.
Speech by Larry Lee, Executive Director, New York Asian Women’s Center
http://www.nyawc.org
The 6th Annual NYC Father’s Day Pledge to End Violence in our Homes, Schools and Communities
June 10, 2015 (delivered on)
My mother’s father was a mean man. I don’t know if he ever struck my grandmother but he was very emotionally abusive. He would take the family’s food money to gamble. He and my grandmother had 6 children. Their children adored her and hated him.
I didn’t know him well. I heard that in China as the son of a rich man He was carried everywhere. His feet never touched the ground. Then at 15 he came to New York City. Working as a laundryman his feet never left the ground. He hated the job and resented his position. At every dinner he drank an 8 ounce glass of whiskey.
He and my grandmother moved in with us when he was close to 60 years of age. Soon after my grandmother developed Alzheimer’s and it got progressively worse. She kept leaving on the gas burners unlit and would wander from the house.
Most amazingly my grandfather nursed and protected her. My uncles were shocked and thought it was poetic justice – the abuser who hated being subservient was the caretaker to his victim.
My grandfather’s life is full of irony. Our response to domestic violence is also ironic. Society treats women unequally. Salaries are lower; chances for advancement are fewer; and, educational opportunities are restricted. Yet, we are surprised that this inequality expresses itself in our homes and families. The public perpetuates a systemic power differential. But, we are shocked when a person with the societally endowed upper hand takes advantage of someone with less power. American society condones hundreds of millions of people having fewer chances than others. But, we are outraged when this lack of opportunity contributes toward violence.
If my grandfather can change, so can many others. But, it is difficult. The abuser feels justified while living in a sexist society that entitles male privilege over women’s well-being. To prevent and reduce domestic violence all people in our society must be treated equally. Bringing about this change is everyone’s responsibility.
Speech by Larry Lee, Executive Director, New York Asian Women’s Center
http://www.nyawc.org
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