If he were still alive, today would have been my grandfather, Raymond Betit's birthday.  I think of him often and miss him.  He was the glue that held a large extended family together and pretty much personified "family man" to me.

He did many great things in his life, from serving his country in battle in World War II to testifying on behalf of the FBI in a trial that made news headlines; from being one of the first in his family to achieve a college degree to starting his own business.  His achievements have been recognized and honored by everyone from the Knights of Columbus to the Catholic church.  Of all these accomplishments and honors, however, the accomplishment Raymond would consider his greatest was his role as the quintessential family man.

Raymond recognized long before it was mainstream to do so that one's family was not just those people who shared a bloodline; it was also those people who shared traditions, culture and, most of all, a desire to do good.  To that end, Raymond strove not just to provide the best possible life and opportunities for his beloved wife and daughters, but also to serve his town, Bennington, his church and his community.  Everyone who knows Ray, knows the door to his and his wife's home was always open; everyone was welcome in this home, regardless of race, color or creed.  Ray spent his life dedicated to this larger notion of family, to educating, caring for and serving his community.  He believed that life wasn’t about being a war hero or a star witness for the FBI or even the world’s best dad—which his daughters will assure you that he was!—it was about more than that; it was about being a peacemaker, a facilitator. . .in the most humble terms, a servant. 

Ray was the glue that held together many different personalities and viewpoints and strove always to provide a common goal, a common purpose, an all-encompassing love and acceptance.

He took great joy and pride in his daughters and grandchildren, in surrounding himself with an ever-growing family.  As a wise person once said, ‘No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet’ and Ray was no exception! 

We lost the physical presence of this great family man on Wednesday, January 19th, 2011.  A man who cared deeply about, and worked steadfastly to protect and nurture, his faith, his family and his community.  Ray must have rejoiced in returning to the arms of his wife, a woman he loved beyond all measure.  His only regret, perhaps, would have been that he was unable to welcome, in person, his first great grandchild when he arrived that summer in 2011.

I like to think that Raymond’s spirit—his sense of family dedication, selflessness and loyalty— remains with us to inspire, to encourage and to love us.

I got called in for a voiceover audition that called for a woman who was relatable and personable "with a hint of an Asian American accent."

Pardon my French, but what the #$%^&*(*&^% is an "Asian American" accent?  By definition, isn't that just "American"?  I am Asian American.  I was born in the United States and both of my parents were born in the United States.  We are native English speakers and our English is as unaccented as it can be - I guess it's regionally accented, in the sense that we're from the Northeastern portion of the United States and we're urban dwellers so we don't have southern accents or midwestern twangs, but what does that have to do with being of Asian descent?

If they mean an ASIAN accent, that's still weird because Asia is a REALLY BIG PLACE with a ton of languages and dialects and accents.  There is no "Asian accent" that I am aware of.  There's definitely no "Asian American" accent.  That's like saying an "African American accent."  WTF would that mean?  Or a "White American accent" - ain't that the same thing?  We're all Americans with some cool ancestry, whether it be Asian, African, European, whatever.  Thinking an "Asian American" sounds like she has, say, a Filipino accent better mean you also think a "White American" sounds like he has, say, a German accent.  This is just dumb.

The audition was for a huge corporation that should know better.  I got to the studio and was promptly surrounded by Asian American women, all of whom, like me, spoke unaccented American English.  The one sitting next to me, who was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, as it turned out, asked me if I saw the "accent" description, which promptly launched us into a discussion of exactly why Asian American actors are relegated to these bizarre and meaningless stereotypes and why we are sent out for roles that don't even make sense - for example, me and the Philly girl should just go for ANY American voiceover job.  Nobody can SEE us.  Our racial background won't disrupt any racist's listening pleasure.  They'll have no idea we're of Asian descent, listening to our pretty voiceovers.  
​
Auditions like that also put native English speaking Asian American actors at a huge disadvantage.  We are getting put up against non-native English speakers who actually have authentic accents from various parts of Asia.  How can we compete with that with our popcorn and bubblegum American English?  We should be reading for the "regular" American roles...but only the white people are in that room.

Or are they?

Because, after the audition, I walked home and, the more time went on, the more riled up I got.  I contacted my (wonderful) agency and explained because I am a native English speaker and my English is American English, I am concerned that I am not going to be competitive against actors who are actually non-native English speakers so could I read for the other role - the "regular" American role?  They immediately said yes without any argument whatsoever and booked me back into the studio within the hour.  So, maybe half the battle is just...asking.  

But now we'll see what casting thinks.  Because if the ad agency thought it was brilliant to tell agencies to give them actors with a "hint of an Asian American accent," there's no telling how they're going to make this casting decision.

On the bright side, it did motivate me to write my own monologue for another audition, which went swimmingly well:

A Hint of an Asian American Accent
A 2 Minute Monologue
By Jennifer Betit Yen
 (c) 2017

Oh buckle up, Buttercup.  I’ve got one for you.  Yesterday, I got an audition.  They said they wanted someone “personable” and “relatable.”  I was like yay!  I’m personable!  I’m relatable!  So, I go over to the casting office and I read over the sides and they’re cool and I go into the studio and I do my read and I’m feeling good!  Feeling great!  And the casting director says, “That was wonderful, but we’ll need you to do it again, this time, with just a hint of an Asian American accent.”
 
                                                                                                                     …
 
What.  The.  Fuck.  Is an “Asian American accent”?  I mean, hello!  I’M Asian American so my accent must be as authentic and genuine as you can get!  But I didn’t say that, of course.  I just said politely, “I’m so sorry.  What do you mean exactly?”  He said, "You know, like you’re from Asia.”
OH.  Because all Asian Americans are from Asia.  No.  No, we’re not.  I was born in New York City.  My parents were born in New York City.  One of my parents?  Not even Asian.  My grandparents were born in New York City.  But at this point, the casting director is getting all annoyed and impatient and he says to me, “Just do an Asian accent!”  And I wanted to be cool.  I didn’t want to be the high maintenance actor.  But now I’m thinking, WHAT IS AN “ASIAN ACCENT”?  Because, Asia?  REALLY BIG PLACE.  Full of countries and languages and accents.  And just because I am of Asian heritage does not mean I know them all.  Plus, isn’t this all just a little racist?
SO, you know what I said?!  You know what I did?!
I did my “Five dollah!  Chinee medicin’!” accent.  Yeah, I totally compromised all my values and principles…
I think he liked it.
Fingers crossed for a call back!
​(c) 2017
May not be reproduced or disseminated without author's written consent.

Recently, I discovered that nickel FOOD allergies can cause systemic dermatitis (read: rashes, eczema).  Just as a side note, nickel is a carcinogen listed by OSHA as a toxic metal.  See ​https://www.osha.gov/SLTC/metalsheavy/nickel.html.  

Nickel is found in high concentrations in beans, nuts, seeds, soy, legumes, chocolate, and leafy greens like kale and spinach.  This can particularly impact you if you are vegetarian or vegan since most of you will drastically up your intake of just those foods since they're terrific vegan sources of fiber and protein (assuming you're not allergic to nickel, that is).  At first, a nickel allergy can lead to complete and utter panic especially for those of us for whom, ethically, eating meat is just not an option.  It's also easy to be overwhelmed by the new long list of high nickel foods.  Also, cutting out dairy (low nickel) was the best thing in the world for my face.  It made my skin so much clearer insofar as breakouts so there's no way I'd ever go back to dairy.  It took 4 solid months of no dairy before I saw the results so, if you're trying to go dairy free for your skin, have patience and stick with it!  But, back to the nickel...

I posted on social media about nickel causing systemic dermatitis but seeming like a near impossible diet for vegans and was shocked by the number of messages I got in response, almost all from people suffering from eczema/dermatitis who wondered if they might have a nickel food allergy.  Some of them were self-treating and had found relief by ingesting a lot of Vitamin C, which makes sense because Vitamin C binds to nickel and prevents the body from absorbing it.  I mentioned this to a dermatologist friend and, to my horror, she said, "What?!  Nickel isn't in food!"  I showed her NIH, FDA and American Contact Dermatitis studies (links below) showing nickel consumption can cause systemic dermatitis and she was flabbergasted.  This was a common theme among the dermatologists I spoke to.  Although they treat patients with eczema and rashes all the time, they're just putting band aids on the wound by dousing their patients with steroid creams which just keep symptoms at bay instead of actually locating and addressing the source of the problem.  You can go to an allergist and a dermatologist and, rather than communicating and sharing information, they're so highly specialized, they can't see beyond one thing - the symptom - which is all they treat.  They're like the story of the 3 blind men and the elephant.  If you haven't read that story, click here.   Maybe someone else has an awesome physician who is way better than the myriad of doctors I spoke to and, if you do, please let me know who they are!  

At any rate, a very kind woman who works with a colleague of my husband's found and gave me what I believe is the only no/low nickel cookbook in the world (love her!).  The link to the cookbook is in the Resources section, below.  Using that, the American Contact Dermatitis Society research, an Italian study, an FDA publication, and an NIH study, I created a list of no/extremely low nickel foods.  I find it easier and less overwhelming to focus on what you CAN eat, rather than what you can't.  Since it is really difficult to locate resources for vegans who have nickel food allergies, the general advice I list below is for them.  Here is a brief (kind of) synopsis of what I found.  I'm not a doctor and this isn't medical advice.  Everyone is different and you know yourself and your body best so do your own research and seek professional advice for any health problems.  That being said, here are some general tips and tricks - ranging from food to skin care to makeup - that I hope you find helpful:

ACNE?  BREAKOUTS?  CUT OUT THE DAIRY

I'll be honest.  I thought it was a myth that eating dairy caused blemishes.  I never had true acne but I would definitely get breakouts and, as anyone who breaks out knows, they're super annoying!  Dermatologists I went to gave me drying topical creams and cortisone shots into a blemish as a means of last resort but they didn't really help.  Last year, I did a lot of research into how horrible, inhumane and unsafe the dairy industry is and went dairy-free cold turkey.  It was NOT easy.  I used to eat a lot of cheese and I love lattes.  However, I found great substitutes and stuck with it.  And, yes, you have to cut out goat milk, too.  It's all dairy, not just cow milk.  One unintended but very welcome consequence was that my face became much clearer.  It took about 4 months for me before I saw the results, so have patience and stick with it.  If you want to go low nickel, you're going to want to avoid no-dairy "milks" made from nuts or soy.  Your best bets will be (white) rice milk and coconut milk (coconut is a fruit, or, more specifically, a "drupe," not a nut).*  My favorite "milk" for taste and consistency is Ripple, which I cannot give up.  It tastes, looks and acts just like cow's milk.  It is made from pea protein.  I have no negative reaction to it but some people with severe nickel allergies might because peas can have a lot nickel in them depending on where they're grown, the soil, etc.  So, if you have a nickel allergy or just want to cut out heavy metal foods, cut them out and then test yourself with Ripple and, if there's no reaction, yay!  You're good to go!  More at http://ripplefoods.com.

*Please note:  the co-author of the Nickel Allergy Cookbook, Charity Bratz, contacted me regarding coconut and advised that, "Coconut, which while not being a nut, still has a high level [of nickel]. Check out http://dietgrail.com/nickel-in-food/ , which mentions coconut itself, but the coconut milk may test lower."  Ms. Bratz, who has a severe and life threatening nickel allergy, has done a tremendous amount of research into foods safe for nickel allergy sufferers so, if your allergy is severe, take it from her and be cautious with coconut!

NO NICKEL?  LOW NICKEL?  

1.  WHAT DO I EAT?
First, the bad news and then the good news.  The bad news is if you want to avoid high nickel foods, you have to avoid some serious nutritional powerhouses, like beans, granola, leafy greens, nuts, raspberries, oatmeal, seeds, soy, and whole grains (also avoid chocolate, citric acid and garlic).  Nooooo!!!!!!!

The good news is it's do-able with a few substitutions and you may even end up a little healthier.  Basically, whenever you were eating soy or whole grains, substitute eggplant and/or mushrooms.  For example, instead of that processed soy veggie burger from the frozen foods section (not really all that great for you anyway), make a portabella mushroom "burger" with stir-fried onions in olive oil.  Instead of beans and brown rice, make a stir fry (or bake) strips of eggplant, summer squash and zucchini in olive oil with fresh raw tomatoes.  And so on.  Second, take a chewable or powdered vitamin C (500mg) immediately before, during or right after meals to prevent absorption of the nickel.  Be sure to stay well hydrated.

Here is a list I created of "good" foods and a sample one day menu.  If you guys like it and enough people request them, I'll add more recipes.  I also have skin care and makeup recommendations at the very bottom for people with topical nickel intolerance.

THE "GOOD" FOODS
apples (including apple juice and apple sauce)
bagels (plain only, not whole grain - sorry)
baking soda
bananas
basil
beer (YAY!)
​beets
berries EXCEPT raspberries
black pepper
boiled potatoes (no peels)
bok choy
brussels sprouts
cabbage
chives
cinnamon
coffee (YAY!)
corn
corn tortilla chips
corn tortillas
cornmeal
cornstarch
crushed red pepper
cucumbers
dill
eggplant
eggs *not vegan
flour (white rice flour)
grapefruit
grapes
green onions
honey
kiwi
maple syrup
milk- white rice milk
mirin (Japanese rice wine for cooking)
molasses
mushrooms
nutmeg
okra
olive oil
onions generally
oregano
pears
popcorn (air popped)
raisins
red onion
rhubarb
rice flour (white rice and sweet white rice)
rice paper wrappers (like for spring rolls; again, white or sweet white rice)
salt
strawberries
summer squash
thyme
tomatoes (raw)
turnips
vanilla
vinegar - apple cider vinegar
vinegar - balsamic 
vinegar - rice
vinegar - white
wine (YAY!)
zucchini

SAMPLE ONE DAY MENU
Breakfast:
*  Mixed berry bowl (no raspberries)

*  Corn flakes cereal with (white) rice or coconut milk

*  Coffee with (white) rice milk or coconut milk

*  Glass of water with 1/8 t water-soluble L-ascorbic Vitamin C powder
According to the American Contact Dermatitis Society, you must take the Vitamin C immediately before, during or immediately after eating because it must be in your stomach at the same time as the food to bind to the nickel and prevent its absorption

Lunch
*  Bok Choy salad with apple cider vinegar and chopped up apples

*  Grilled portabella mushroom "burger" with onions, cabbage and tomatoes if you want them

*  Glass of water with 1/8 t water-soluble L-ascorbic Vitamin C powder

Mid Morning and/or Mid Afternoon Snacks
*  Air popped popcorn with truffle salt and olive oil

*  Corn tortilla chips with homemade tomato and basil salsa

*Grilled brussels sprouts with olive oil, sea salt and cracked black pepper

Dinner
*  Sliced raw tomatoes with fresh basil and balsamic vinegar

*Veggie spring roll appetizer of green onions, cabbage, cucumbers, summer squash, and zucchini in rice paper wrappers

*  Grilled vegetable stir fry of sliced eggplant, mixed mushrooms (I love Maitake and Cremini), summer squash, zucchini, onions, and diced peeled potatoes in olive oil.  See here for another sample stir fry recipe.
​
*  Glass of water with 1/8 t water-soluble L-ascorbic Vitamin C powder

*Glass of wine or bottle of beer if you want one 

2.  WHAT SKIN CARE DO I USE?
Skintifique is a cruelty-free, ethical French skincare line that is specifically formulated for people sensitive to heavy metals.  I purchased and tried (1) Cleanser P; (2) Moisturizing Lotion HP; and (3) Protective Cream HPS.  I was a little bummed by how small the size of the cream was, but it's all pretty good.  My favorite is the cleanser, which is cool and calming and removes even waterproof eye makeup with ease.  The lotion and cream are fine.  Like the cleanser, they are calming and cool.  I actually find the lotion more pleasant to use than the cream, which for some reason, feels a little powdery to me.  The website offers a free full-sized product to try if you've never used their line before and I recommend using the freebie on the cream because it's the most expensive and you'll either love it or not.  I am sticking to the Cleanser and Lotion, which I like a lot.  
https://www.skintifique.me/#skaid=BETI1704

If you want a clean, safe, cheap body moisturizer you can get from your grocery store, a tiny bit of plain old olive oil will always work in a pinch!  Just avoid Italian olive oil (which is often mixed with other oils and not actually olive oil).  Here's a good link to resources for "real" olive oils:  /www.mamanatural.com/virgin-olive-oil-scam-fraud/  My favorite is Trader Joe's Spanish Olive Oil.  I also like California Olive Oil.  Just keep in mind, olive oil doesn't offer the same protections against nickel content that the Skintifique lotion is formulated to provide.

3.  WHAT MAKEUP DO I USE?
Omiana is a cruelty-free, ethical and eco-friendly cosmetics line developed for people who want "clean" makeup as free from chemicals as possible.  I purchased the powder foundation, anti-redness concealer, a lipliner, and some eyeshadow.  I am still waiting on the products so I will update this after I try them.  
https://www.omiana.com

4.  OTHER SOURCES OF NICKEL
You can test the metal around your home with a quick and easy nickel test (available at https://nonickel.com/collections/solutions-for-nickel-allergy and you can buy them in some Walgreens).  I was horrified to discover my bathroom sink faucet and pipes were nickel.  That kind of replacement is extremely expensive, however, if you have a serious nickel allergy, well worth it for your health and well being.  Additionally, check things like doorknobs, which can be quickly and easily replaced, and jewelry.  You can use Nickel Guard (or regular old clear nail polish) to coat, for example, a doorknob that you can't replace but that is nickel and is causing you to suffer an allergic reaction.  Just keep in mind, you'll have to re-coat it periodically to keep it safe and it doesn't work on things you get wet, like your sink faucet, for example.

5.  RESOURCES
1.  Nickel sensitization and dietary nickel are a substantial cause of symptoms provocation in patients with chronic allergic-like dermatitis syndromes, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4388878/

2.  No Nickel Cookbook
https://thenickelallergycookbook.wordpress.com/about/
This cookbook, written by a mother and daughter team, is comprehensive and easy to follow.  It is for meat eaters, which I am not, however, I found that if I (1) substituted vegetable broth where their recipes called for meat broth and (2) substituted eggplant and/or mushrooms (especially portabellas because they're so hearty) wherever their recipes called for chicken, beef or other meats, and, (3) in baking, substituted applesauce for eggs, it was not too difficult to convert the cookbook into a vegan cookbook and even easier to convert it to a vegetarian one.  If you have questions about how to do this, just message me here and I'll do my best to help!

3.  Non Dairy Milks
Read my blog post about this here.

4.  Skin Care
Skintifique is a cruelty-free, ethical skin care line for people with metal sensitivities.  I particularly recommend their cleanser and lotion.  Take advantage of the one free full sized product to try offer on their website.
https://www.skintifique.me/en/

5.  Makeup
I'm giving Omiana a go.  I'll update this after I've tried their products consistently over a period of time.
https://www.omiana.com

6.  Nickel Test Kit
You can carry it around to test jewelry, pipes, door handles, whatever.  You can also get a nickel "guard" to cover said items (but you'll have to re-apply periodically and it doesn't offer much (any) protection for items that get wet frequently, like a faucet):
https://nonickel.com/collections/solutions-for-nickel-allergy  

7.  "Low-Nickel Diet Scoring System for Systemic Nickel Allergy," The American Contact Dermatitis Society Journal, Vol 24, No. 4, July/August 2013 - http://journals.lww.com/dermatitis/Abstract/2013/07000/Low_Nickel_Diet_Scoring_System_for_Systemic_Nickel.9.aspx

8.  Italian study of nickel content in common foods:  www.torrinomedica.it/studio/alimenti/nichel/en/Nickel_Foods_Cont.asp

NOTE:  I have also been researching ethical, cruelty-free, environmentally-friendly household products that are free of heavy metals, such as laundry detergent, hand soaps and the like.  Please let me know if you want me to add in this information.
​

My latest kick is heavy metals and/or toxic or potentially problematic metals found in food.  One example is nickel, which is a carcinogen listed by OSHA as a toxic metal, although it's primarily only an issue for most people if inhaled.  See ​https://www.osha.gov/SLTC/metalsheavy/nickel.html.  

A growing number of people are allergic to nickel - possibly due to increased exposure to it from cell phones, iPads and the like, and it can cause rashes and other dermatological problems.  It's in a  LOT of foods, particularly...sorry everyone...chocolate.  See, e.g., www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3667300/.  

To actually eliminate nickel and other metals from your diet is virtually impossible, however, you can keep them to a minimum.  Here is one of my favorite nickel-free/low nickel recipes from "Garden to Table":

BOK CHOY MUSHROOM STIR FRY
Ingredients:
2 t olive oil
1 cut thinly sliced onions
1/2 c chopped red bell pepper
3-4 cloves minced garlic
1/2 t grated ginger
1 lb. coarsely chopped bok choy
1/2 lb chopped mushrooms - pick your favorite or try a variety of different kinds!
2 t fresh lemon juice

Directions:
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat.  Add onions, pepper, garlic, and ginger,  Stir fry about 1 minute.  Add boo choy and onions and story fry another minute.  Add lemon juice and stir fry 3-4 more minutes.  Enjoy!

This is a vegan take on Better Nutrition's Paleo-friendly, gluten-free Quiche Dijon and it's scrumptious!    

Ingredients:
4 baked sweet potatoes or garnet yams, cooled
8 t Chia seeds mixed with 16 t water (let the seeds soak 5-6 minutes before using)
1 T dijon mustard
3/4 hot sauce (if you want)
1/2 t sea salt
1/4 black pepper
1/2 cup shredded Yves Vegetarian "pepperoni"  (optional)
1/4 c finely chopped baby kale
2 T finely chopped green onion

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 F

Slice off the top of each potato and scoop out the middle, leaving enough inside to let the potato hold its shape  (set the scoops aside to use later as a mashed sweet potato side dish for tomorrow's dinner)

In a bowl, mix the chia and water, mustard salt, pepper, kale, and, if using, the hot sauce and Yves Vegetarian "pepperoni."   Spoon the mixture into the potatoes and top with green onion

Bake 30 minutes.

​ENJOY!!